| Lion King?? |
[08 Oct 2011|01:38pm] |
I'm really not a very needy person.
at least i try not to be
when things don't go my way
i tend to feel slightly disappointed
but always let it pass without a word
but when someone makes me a promise
a very very simple promise
like
"i'll go see that movie with you"
and we have two weeks in which we can manage this
and at the end of the two weeks
you havent seen the movie
well it pisses me off
wtf
it not a difficult task!
if you don't want to go
dont promise
just say
"i'd rather not"
but seriously?!
fuck. this.
-_-
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| :D |
[29 Aug 2011|12:00pm] |
Life has been pretty regular lately
nothing new has really happened
just going with the flow
hanah and christy left
but I got erica back
:]
so it's been good
Dylan will be home in 25 days
I'm so excited.. I literally cannot wait to see him
yeah I don't really have very much to update..
I need to go do something
but I just feel like I've become stationary..
meh
<3<3
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[31 Jul 2011|11:28pm] |
So I really wanna lose weight and tone up
but I suck at running
and apparently eating right
lets go a look at my food intake
Saturday:
8 wendy's nuggets
small wendy's fry
4 chips ahoy cookies
small amount of chicken and dumplings
piece of white cake
2 cookies from kroger
Sunday:
2 pieces toast with nutella
boston cream pie yogurt
cup of mac n cheese
4 strawberries
2 MORE toast with nutella
I'm a sugar addict :[
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[23 Jun 2011|10:57pm] |
life has been weird lately..
I think
I need to get a job.
but..
meh.
life.
I'm in love with Gesso
I feel such extreme emotions towards him
Strong love
Strong annoyances
Strong everything
<3
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[02 May 2011|09:56pm] |
I'm not sure what triggers it..
but some days my moods just go from 0-100 and all the way back down..
I woke up this morning feeling great [even though I was in a strange room, and a stranger was weed eating right outside the window]
I felt good
I cleaned and felt good
I came home and cleaned some more and felt good
I went to get a registration
felt good
had dinner
felt good
saw him
..good
went to walgreens
good
came home..
less good
showered..
less good
and so far its continued to drop..
to the point where a song in my car made me cry so hard i was swerving..
I don't know what happened
or how I became this
emotional
I need a change..
something.. serious..
:/
<3
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[19 Apr 2011|07:52pm] |
I MISS DYLAN.
I want someone who wants to hang out with me, just to hang out.
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[18 Apr 2011|12:23am] |
well..
things have been going pretty well
Dylan has been gone for almost a full month
its been sucky, but it could definitely have been much worse..
been spendin lots of time with christina
as always.. it's amazing :]
I;m never around her and not feeling amazing
she just does that to me.
I often want to take our relationship to another step, but i'm making myself take things slower this time
I don't want to jump in and end up freaking myself out again
it sucks
[for all involved]
i love fun dip and cherry coke..
just fyi..
and I love it when girls stop by for the summer
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[31 Mar 2011|10:01pm] |
yellow lilies
match the color of my love
filled with love
lemons
and sunshine..
yellow..
orange..
red..
colors defining
spring..
and summer?
warmth
my skin feels a thirst for sunlight
a feeling..
I find unusual..
my line of vision
filled with glitter
sparkling sand
shining ocean
bright beautiful life
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[30 Mar 2011|01:40pm] |
the human body
i find beauty in my own..
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[30 Mar 2011|02:11am] |
Dylan has been gone a week now
I was able to text him everynight until tonight
today was the first day in over a year that I did not see a new text message from Dylan Hart on my cell phone
389 days of talking
and now silence
i've writen.. 5 pages of words
can't hold the feelings from a day of silence..
its deafining
on a better note[s]
spent the weekend with christina :]
it was very nice
her and sam and tara
a good time
with good girls
<3
I made mini cupcakes
and water color paint
I'm in love with myself.
If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.
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[20 Mar 2011|07:42pm] |
I've felt pretty much numb for quite some time
today I cried..
a lot..
tomorrow Dylan leaves for his basic training
which means he is spending tonight in houston
he left this afternoon
after decided not to tell me when he was leaving
or to even tell me goodbye
when I asked to see when i'd see him
he said he was already gone
I don't know what I'm feeling
but I do know that I'm finally feeling
I can't stop crying
even as I write this I am unable to stop my tears
how am I supposed to deal with this?
It feels like.. I am not alone
even more so that I already have been
I have my good days and my bad days
I think I am in for a large amount of bad days ahead..
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[13 Mar 2011|03:20pm] |
hmm
it's spring time
feels nice outside
I slpe in so much today
and am spending the day in bed..
its comfy
my mood is on the upside so i don't feel lonely just because im alone
thats good
went out
danced
it was nice
i enjoy dancing
christina invited me out tonight..
i had to decline..
I'm not ready yet..
:/
i'm sad about dylan leaving
I know i'll be very lonely with him gone
but i've been working on strengthening myself for it
-shrug-
I wanna make easter cupcakes
and make them like.. baby blue
or lavender
or.. pink!
and use rainbow chip frosting..
yumm
:]
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[09 Mar 2011|10:36pm] |
|
hm..
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| posture? |
[27 Feb 2011|02:55pm] |
so it was a very good weekend
i drank way too much friday
but still had a great time
i have really bad posture
so i'm working on fixing that
and drinking water.. :]
it will be good for me
i feel good inside
i don't know why
must be having a good day..
room is still clean.
i rode my bike
my shin is clean
my hair is dyed and brushed
skinny jeans
third eye blind shirt
i need to discover something healthy to bake
cuz i love bakeing way too much
:]
i also love chanel
hehe
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[23 Feb 2011|12:50pm] |
feeling good today
no particular reason
maybe the depression is fading?
either way..
blueberry muffins..
and sunshine
<3
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[21 Feb 2011|01:45am] |
wow
apparently i'm like chopped liver
dylan doesn't pay me any attention
and now blains home
and i heard it from someone else
again
fuck this life.
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[19 Feb 2011|01:32pm] |
I've been feeling better,
not much has really changed.. but..
I'm more accepting of it
I've stopped putting so much importance of things that I can't control
like..
other people's emotions
who cares if they like me or wanna spend time with me..
there are plenty of people woul would want to..
I just have to have more faith in other things
like..
the healing powers of cleaning..
[I dusted my ceiling fan]
I wonder if it ethical to walk a turtle on a leash..
probably not..
well.. I guess thats enough for now..
chanel is feeling better..
that makes me happy as well..
I want a real pet...
like a kitten.. or a puppy
are there other people who have been waiting over a year to have a pet?
other people who want pets, and just can't seem to have one either..
:/
well.. we'll see..
:]
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[14 Feb 2011|01:06am] |
I'm not good at being alone..
:[
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[05 Feb 2011|01:16am] |
with valentines day approaching fast.. I realized I dont have a valentine..
what do you do on valentines day if you are alone?
for every year that it mattered i've been in a relationship
and last year, although i was single
i still went out and received a gift..
what do people do when they are alone??
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| what is a hoe? |
[02 Feb 2011|11:53pm] |
I've decided that all people are "hoeish" by nature
based on the amount of time i spend casually flirting
and the time people spend flirting with me
and compare it to what i see in other people
and how much time they spend flirting or being flirted with..
people are hoeish..
sex is an important part of life
and i think that all people take part in that..
and when people try to argue with me on if that is or is not true.. i feel annoyed..
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